Thursday, January 22, 2015

Funny Kids' Quotes from 2014

Written by, Bernadyn Nettles

Children have impressionable minds and how they take in information and transform it to make sense in their heads is interesting to hear.  As I continue this parenting journey with  my three and six-year-old, I am still amazed on how they interpret and analyze information.  It seems like at least a couple times a day, my children will say something that brings a smile to my face or makes me question how they came up with a certain conclusion or will have me laughing hysterically.  Kids say the darndest things, don't they?  I wish I could remember them all so that's why awhile back I wrote down several things my son said when he was younger in this previous post. 

Humor, Parenting

Now, with 2014 over, I managed to remember a few things my kids said that I think are worth repeating from last year, too, along with some new funny things they've said this year.  After all, laughter is the best medicine, right?

Kid Logic


Have You Lost Your Mind?

My kids apparently have lost their minds at some point in their short lives, or so they claim!  I completely forgot my little boy said this to me when he was about three, too.  I was reminded of it when my little girl realized she lost her mind...

Lyla: I lost my mind.
Me: Where did you lose it ...or how did you lose it?
Lyla: Katniss took it.  (Katniss is our cat).
We might have a hard time getting it back!

Brody (when he was also about 3 years old): I lost my mind.
Me: What?
Brody: I left it at McDonald's.
Well then, hopefully we can go back and find it!

Super Parents

It's a good feeling when your children think of you as super heroes or that you have superhuman powers...

Lyla: Why doesn't Daddy have super powers?  You took it away?
Me: What? How...Huh?  :(
Lyla: Because you're super girl.
Me: :)

Recently, my hubby got a huge spider bite on his back that got infected.  My kids were terrified of it and told everybody and their mama about it!  I told them the bite might affect their daddy and turn him into a super hero the same way Peter Parker turned into Spiderman after getting bit by a spider.

My son: Or he might just turn into an actual spider with long legs.

My daughter didn't like that idea and began to cry.  Daddy had to calm her down and promised her he wouldn't turn into a giant spider.

My daughter:  You'll just stay a human? (she said in between sad sobs)

Things That Make You Pee

Lyla comes up to me while watching TV.
Lyla: Mommy, this is making me pee.
Me: What is?
Lyla: This TV show.  (She was watching Monster High).
Yeah, I know, TV does that sometimes, haha!

My little goofy children

Magic Hands

In 2014, my daughter came up with "magic hands" which she uses as an explanation for everything when we compliment her on things she makes like drawings, paintings and blocks she builds.

Me: How did you learn to draw so well? I ask her this while she's showing me a picture she drew.
Lyla: I have magic hands.
Me: Where did you get magic hands?
Lyla: Grandpa gave them to me.



This year my kids became much  more curious about the process of having a baby in your womb including how the baby got in there and how it comes out.

We were looking at Lyla's baby photos and my maternity pics...

Lyla: Mommy, when you eat food, it goes in your tummy.
Me: Yes and then your body spreads it around and it nourishes your body.  I should have realized the wheels were already turning in her head!
Lyla: So, your tummy is big in there because you eat me when I'm a baby?
Me: Ahhh, no, that's not how it works.
I see how this makes sense in a child's head, though!

Then, another time, the question of how she escaped the belly...
Again, I should have known better!

Lyla: Mommy, you put me in your tummy?
Me: Yes, I took care of you in my tummy.
Lyla: And then you poop me the toilet?
Me: Hahaha, no it's not that easy!

My daughter still thinks eating too much might cause her to grow a baby inside her own belly.

Lyla: I think I ate too much.  (She says this while looking down at her now full belly that is protruding). My belly hurts, I think the baby is growing bigger.  Can we get the butter knife and cut it out?

She is referring to when her older brother told me that he will cut her out of my stomach with a butter knife when I was in pain while I was pregnant with her.

My son made it clear to us all last year that he doesn't want anymore babies...

We asked him about having another baby sister or brother:

My son: If I was to have a baby brother or sister, then I want zero because it's easier for me but that right there (he points to his sister), that is hard...and that boy right there (he points to his daddy), definitely hard!

Sometimes, he has a parent and child confusion??

Also, last year, my son became much more picky when it comes to eating so he's developed some interesting reasons why he can't eat something:

Me: If you don't eat well, you won't grow bigger and you can't gain weight.
My son: I'm allergic to weight gain.

Switching bodies is always the answer...

My hubby and I were discussing how we don't get good sleep...(isn't that a normal topic for every parent)?

My son chimes in with his two cents:

Me: My body is so sore, I don't get good sleep.
My hubby: You get better sleep than me.
My son: Why don't you switch bodies so then you get good sleep in daddy's body?
Why didn't I think of that?  That makes perfect sense, son!

The fascination with Daddy losing his hair...

My hubby had a full set of hair before the kids were born but now it's become thinner and he shaves it.  I think it looks much better and don't mind it anymore that he has no hair but it bothers the kids when he shaves it and every now and then, they question what happened to his hair:

My daughter: What happened to Daddy's hair?  The wind blew it away?
That was some strong wind!

My daughter: When I was a baby, I took Daddy's hair?
He's always telling them that he gave them his hair once they were born so I think they literally believe that he took it off and put it on their heads!

Daddy's my boyfriend...

Yes, it's happened, my daughter fell in love with her daddy!  For the past several weeks, she refers to her daddy as her boyfriend.  I already knew my son would find ways to wreck this relationship!

One day, it's quiet in the car when I hear my son whisper to his sister, "You know that daddy's going to break up with you, right?"
The silence is shattered by a heart-breaking cry from a little girl.

In the cafeteria at my son's school while we're having breakfast with him at an event, my husband gets up from the table to get more coffee.

My son turns to his sister and says, "Daddy broke up with you."

More tortured crying comes out of my daughter and gets the attention from a few people including a lady across from us who turns around and asks her why she's crying.  Luckily, she doesn't tell the story and just starts quieting down.  Daddy comes back and asks what happened.  He comforts her and tells her they're not broken up.  Oh boy!

So, then, after the mini crying fest was over, I took this picture:

She's thinking, "Everything's okay, Daddy's still my boyfriend."

One day, my son was purposely making his sister upset by taking away her toy so she said, "You make me so mad, I'm going to text my boyfriend!  He's my daddy."

Uh-oh, you're in trouble now!

Happy New York!

On New Years Eve, I kept telling my daughter to say, Happy New Year.  She still can't pronounce a lot of words, however, so her New Year came out as New York.

My daughter: Happy New York!

Not car gas...

Of course, to kids, passing gas is a top contender of things that are funny!

In the car this week, we were having a "Mommy Cab Discussion" about silly things when I turned around and made a funny face at my daughter.  She had a serious face and told me, "I keep farting."  (She pronounces with a 'p' so it sounds like 'parting').

Me: It's okay.
My daughter:  No, it's not okay.  She hates being told something is okay when she doesn't think it is).
My son:  You have the gas...and I don't mean the car gas but the fart gas.
My daughter:  How do I take this fart (part) gas away?

This is the face he makes when it all makes sense in his head!  #kidlogic

Kids often say funny things unintentionally because it makes perfect sense in their heads.  There's lots more where this list came from but sadly, I don't always get to write it down or remember them.  I'll have to do better with that this 2015! 

I can't wait to hear all the crazy, funny things my kids will come up with this 2015!

What's some funny things your kids said last year?  

Hope you have lots of good laughs and a Happy New York this year!



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