The clock is ticking. 2012 is winding down and coming to a rapid end. There seems to never be enough time and then a new year is knocking on our door...
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As the new year approaches and I prepare to say good-bye to the old one, I review, reminisce and wonder if I have any regrets from the past year. It's normal and expected; we all want the new year to be our fresh start, new beginning, the year to make it happen...whatever that may be for each of us. I always get excited about the new year (one reason is because the holiday chaos is over) but now with kids, it's also a bittersweet time for me because it means another year for my kids to grow and leave behind their young, innocent moments. I know I have to deal with it and I try to keep in mind to welcome the new year as a blessing because not everyone survives to experience another year, to get a chance to make changes, improvements, face new challenges and overcome obstacles.
This new year is going to be a momentous year for me because there's going to be some major events going down which is why my resolutions this year seem more important. One big thing going down in 2013 is that it's my final year...do I dare say it??...in my twenties!!! I know, how will I ever let go? Yes, I'm a year shy of turning 30 and I have already begun to be bummed about it but I'm making this resolution one: embrace the big 3-0. I have to because if I refuse to turn 30 I won't grow to see 40, 50, 60 and so on...
Turning thirty can be a scary obstacle to face for some people (like me) because it means letting go of the previous decade. I realized the reason I'm having a hard time letting go is because my twenties were so eventful, so many life-changing events occurred and I grew from them, learned from them and have matured mentally and emotionally. Some were good, some great, some awful, some heart-breaking, but a lot stressful. There was drama, heart-break, broken friendships and what seems to be broken dreams. The past decade helped teach me who I am and the person I want to become...so, resolution two: look back at the twenties to grow from them and away from them...keep away anything and anyone negative and focus on myself. Stressing about everyone else's feelings/problems can hold you down and I plan to be uplifted this coming year and to only surround myself with people who can help me achieve that.
Along with focusing on myself mentally and emotionally, I plan on physically focusing on myself, too. Resolution three: work on being healthier. Being healthy takes effort but it's worth it. I plan to exercise, to eat, think and be healthier. I already have a gym membership and personal training so I need to use it as much as possible. It does get hard when there's kids to care for, a kid who attends school, gets sick, gets me sick and conflicting schedules but I have to stay determined. Plus, the gym isn't free so can't let money go to waste!
Another big event in 2013 is that my eldest, my Brody Bear, will be turning five and starting Kindergarten! (That may actually kill me before I turn 30). I already anticipate a tear-soaked face (for me) at his final day of Preschool because it's another chapter in his life that he'll be closing. Therefore, resolution four: to enjoy this year with him before he's off to the big leagues. We all know what happens: they step into that kindergarten class as a little boy but come out grown and graduated.
2013 is also when my baby girl, Lyla Brielle, turns two and potty-training will be introduced to her. I'm eager for the diapers to end but sad to acknowledge one of the final steps in letting go of her baby years. Resolution five: potty-train Lyla with patience and no pressure. Potty-training signals the end of a chapter for her, too, but I want to take my time and slowly turn that last page.
New year, new places...I've always believed that to be a well-rounded individual, you need to be well-traveled and well-cultured. Traveling to see all the continents is one of my big dreams but with young kids, that dream, for now, is difficult to make a reality. It's been a long-term goal of mine to also visit all the states in our country and that goal is more attainable. I want to re-visit that goal this coming year. Resolution six: travel to a new state ...and then repeat every year after that.
2012 carried a lot of excitement and new experiences with the two small kids in my life. Along with that excitement came stress, sleep deprivation, exhaustion and neglect for my wants and needs because that's what you can expect from clingy, needy infants and toddlers (and husbands). It became more of a strain when my hubby picked up a second job. It meant extended hours caring for the kids alone and running more errands on my own (that is a great feat to conquer by the way when you have kids in tote). In short, I was seldom a perky, happy person this past year. Resolution seven: find happiness again. That means make more time to take care of myself, pamper myself, get rest and put my needs first more often. A happy wife means a happy life and a happy, healthy mommy means happy, healthy kids.
2013 marks a big anniversary year for my hubby and I...our tenth year together as a couple! Friday was actually our ninth year anniversary as a couple which leads me to resolution eight: continue to work on my relationship with my hubby to happily celebrate ten years together in 2013. Several circumstances, issues and people got in our way through the years that we've been together and there's been many times, almost like clockwork it seems, that I've wanted to call it quits and leave. It would've been easier to do that before the kids and sometimes I wish I had and I there's times I still want to leave. After all, kids don't need to witness arguing, anger and hurt. I learned through our years together that although I love my hubby very much, I need to love myself enough to make changes for my own happiness. I'm not saying there hasn't been plenty of good, happiness and love in our relationship because there has been and that's why I resolve to put "Us" as a couple first and everyone else can wait on the back burner. We've been together too long and been through too much to not have learned our lesson.
Like I said, you never know if you'll live to see another year so a huge priority this year is resolution nine: write a will. As parents, that's the one thing you have to count on and have to get done. We've been in denial these past few years, refusing to believe the possibility that one day our kids may become orphaned but life has a way of slapping you with reality. Last week was an eye-opener... two days before Christmas we got into a car accident. What a way to end the year, right? We were blessed, no one was hurt and it wasn't traumatizing for the kids. They weren't shaken up at all. We kept asking Brody since he can understand but he was just complaining about being hungry. It was traumatizing for us parents, though. That was the first accident with the kids in the car. We realized it could have been worse, especially since it was my side and the baby's side that was just seconds away from getting hit. I think the scariest and hardest part of writing the will for us and many parents is choosing guardianship: who can you trust with your whole heart to raise your kids the way you dream for them to be raised? It's a tough call that no one wants to think about. The thought of leaving them is unbearable but we know it needs to be addressed.
Last but certainly not least, I feel that in order to make 2013 a successful year, I need to grow spiritually, as well. Resolution ten: grow in faith...build my relationship with God, attend Church more regularly, pray with my family and grow in faith together. This resolution is the highest priority to me because I believe that it will help me achieve my other plans for the year.
I'll probably come up with more resolutions in the next few days and weeks but I know these are the ones that weighed heavy on my mind. Of course, we don't need to wait for a new year to make resolutions, they can be done anytime if you want to see changes in your life. Again, not everyone is fortunate enough to experience a new year (I've had two people I know and care about pass away this year) so when I live to see a new one roll around I try to be optimistic about it and take it as a blessing, an opportunity for a better, happier year.
May 2013 bring more chances for happiness for us all and remember that with every ending there's a new beginning...
My first post last year had something to do about Beginnings and Bittersweet Endings so it looks like from that first post of 2012 to this last one, I've come full circle!
Welcome 2013 and Happy New Year, everyone!!!
By the way, this is my twentieth post...what a great way to close the chapter on 2012 and kick off the new one! I look forward to writing another twenty or more next year...
...and no, no new babies anytime soon!